24 weeks

Holy crap, I can’t believe I’ve let 5 weeks go by without a posting.  Shame on me.  Though I did have good reason: we bought a house!  We signed for it the beginning of May and then spent the entire month cleaning, painting (VOC-free paint, of course), packing, sorting and hauling.  It was so exhausting.  I don’t know how many times I fell asleep in an uncomfortable camp chair while telling G that I was just going to sit down for a minute.  I even slept on a pile of furniture-cushioning blankets on the floor.  Plus, we had our TV and Internet shut off at the old house and it took 3 weeks for the stupid cable people to come out and turn it on at the new house.

Anyway, that’s my excuse.  We’re not 100% settled in, but I’m not in a big rush to finish unpacking.  It’s livable and that’s good enough for me.

The baby and I are doing well, or I assume we are.  I have an ultrasound later this afternoon, so we’ll see how he/she is doing then.  Because of the Lovenox, I have to have monthly ultrasounds.  I’m not complaining because I’m more than happy to fill up my bladder and squirm around on the table if it means I get another peek at our little one.

I’m definitely starting to look pregnant, as you can see below:

We still don’t have the nursery ready at all, though I did pick out paint colors.   Tomorrow, though, we’re going to register for our showers.  I have two scheduled in July and another in early September.  I still can’t believe we’re going to actually have a baby who will need all of this stuff.  I guess part of me still worries that something is going to go wrong.  I don’t know that I’ll get over that until the baby is actually born.

Totally out of order here, but you know how I was saying how I have to have the monthly ultrasounds because of the Lovenox?  Well, I was doing more research and it seems like most doctors won’t let you go to term if you’re on blood thinners.  This risk of bleeding is too high, so they’ll schedule an induction a few days before your due date so you have plenty of time to let the blood thinners get out of your system.  My doctor hasn’t mentioned this at all, so I need to remember to ask about it at my next appointment.  I really wanted to just let things happen on their own, though of course I’ll do whatever is best for the baby.

Another totally selfish reason I wanted to go past my due date (I’m assuming my baby will be born late for some reason) is that I wanted to have my maternity leave last through the end of the year.  If I deliver in the second week of October, I won’t come back to work until the beginning of the year.  If I go early, I’ll be coming back the weeks around Christmas, which just seems pointless.

I mean, whatever, it’s fine, I just though ideally that it would be nice not having to come back until after Christmas.  Anyway, we’ll see what happens.  I just need to remember to ask my doctor about that.

So, anyway, that’s what I’ve been up to lately: house-related stuff and trying to actually believe we’re going to get a baby out of all of this.

19 week ultrasound

Today’s ultrasound was so much fun!  The tech said that everything looked great, and I’m so relieved.  Even though my triple-screen test came back fine, I was still a little worried that something would show up, but it was all good.

The baby's profile

Camera shy baby

The baby wouldn’t turn over for the 4D part, so we’ll go back in 10 weeks to get a look at the face, which is awesome.  Any and all reassurance I can get is great.  Seeing all those fingers and toes is just the greatest thing, though it is still weird to look at these pictures and think that that baby is inside of me.  And I’m only halfway through!

We decided ahead of time not to find out the baby’s sex, and I thought that once we were in there and had the opportunity that we might change our minds, but we didn’t.  It is weird to think that there’s one person right now who knows if it’s a boy or a girl, though.

Changing the subject, I found the best maternity jeans.  I ordered a pair of the real-waist flare leg jeans from Old Navy, and they are awesome!  They’re super comfy and aren’t all baggy in the hips and thighs like those other ones I have are.  It’s nice because you can tighten or loosen them with these elastic and snaps on the inside of the waist.  We’ll see how long I can fit into them for. 

18 weeks

Last Tuesday was the 2-year anniversary of my very first due date.  Isn’t that weird?  I can’t believe that if everything had gone well with my first pregnancy I would have a two-year-old running around.  Just crazy.

Instead, I’m now 18 weeks with an extremely active little guy.  He kicks randomly throughout the day, sometimes over and over for 10 minutes at a time, and sometimes just once every hour or so, to let me know he’s still there.  It’s really nice to have that reassurance.  I’ve only been using the doppler sparingly.

Before yesterday, he had been lying sideways across the bottom of my pelvis, randomly kicking my bladder, but about noon yesterday he started kicking up a storm.  The kicks moved up the right side of my uterus until he was kicking up by my belly button.  It was so weird.  I can’t even describe what it felt like, other than this strange, alien creature doing gymnastics inside my pelvis.  But right after he moved up, the pressure on my bladder was gone and THANK GOD because I was getting sick and tired of having to pee every two minutes, especially when I’d pee and as soon as I stood up I felt like I had to pee again.  I even got tested for a bladder infection because it was so annoying.

Today is the first day I’ve worn maternity jeans to work.  They look hideous on me.  They’re super wide through the hip, then almost taper at the ankle and they’re too short.  They were on clearance at Target and I guess I know why now.  I checked Kohl’s but they only had XL.  I also got a pair at another store, but they again have the weird extra hip fabric.  I understand that at some point my hips are going to spread, but it’s super annoying for now.

I’m having trouble with finding tops to wear, too.  I never thought of myself as wearing skin-tight clothes, but apparently I did because I don’t own anything baggy.  I have, I think, about 7 tops I can still wear.  Enough to make it through the week, but still.  It’s getting old.  You would think it would make it easy to find something to wear in the morning, but last Friday morning I had a meltdown.  Just one of those days where nothing was going right and everything I put on made me feel pudgy and ugly.

G was able to feel the baby kick last Thursday and he was super excited.  Whenever the baby kicks now, I have him come over and put his hand there, and of course, the baby stops kicking.  Yesterday I made him sit for five minutes with his hand on my belly while he typed on the computer with the other so he could feel it.

Here’s my 18-week picture:

My belly at 18 weeks

And here’s a shot showing my bruises from the Lovenox.  The giant one on my left has actually faded a bit since last week.  Crazy.

Lovenox bruises at 18 weeks

Next Tuesday is our big ultrasound and I’m so excited!

15 weeks and movement? Already?

So yesterday I swear I felt the baby move.  It was this weird slow roll sensation, like the baby was maybe doing a somersault in there.  Isn’t this too early to feel movement?  I thought with first babies you didn’t feel much until closer to 20 weeks.  I was telling a friend and she said that it’s probably because I’m thin that I’m feeling the baby move so early.  And then today I felt what I think was a kick.  Both of these movements I’ve felt at around the same time of day.

And I did buy a doppler, which I’ve had for about a week now, and I love it!  I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to find the baby’s heartbeat, but I found it right away.  From listening in the morning and at night, we’ve been able to notice that the baby’s way more active at night.  When I leave the wand in one place, the baby will go zooming right by it, it’s so funny.  There will be no heartbeat, then it’s faint, then it’s super loud, and then it’s gone again.  I like to imagine he’s doing gymnastics in there.  And we can actually hear him kick on the doppler, which is cool, too.  And yesterday he kicked the doppler wand, which was weird.  And G of course panicked that I was pushing too hard with the wand and bothering the baby.

I’m still not showing much at all, but I’ve been doing the old rubber band trick for a week with my jeans.  When I went down to my parents’ house last weekend my mom and sister went through their closets and loaned me some of their looser tops so I have something to wear before I need to go to maternity tops for real.

I’ve been done with my progesterone for a week now, and it’s so nice to only have one shot to do each night.  My poor rear is slowly healing, although I still have lumps under my skin from the oil build up.

Yesterday I was at Target and I oh-so-briefly checked out the maternity clearance.  I couldn’t bring myself to take anything off the rack and I just felt like I didn’t belong there.  Like someone was going to come up to me and say, “What are you doing here?  You’re not pregnant.”  I felt the same way when I walked through the maternity section at Kohl’s last week.  And I wandered through the baby stuff just to look and I still felt like someone was going to tell me I wasn’t allowed to be in that section.  It’s so silly, I know.

I finally told people at work last Thursday that I was pregnant, but only because someone asked if I was pregnant.  I had been telling G that wouldn’t it be funny if I didn’t say anything and just waited to see how long it took someone to ask me and then boom, it happened.  I don’t even look that big, but she said it was just like I had this little belly that I never had before.  Everyone else was horrified that this woman would even ask me because how embarrasing if I wasn’t.  Anyway, two of my coworkers bought me a baby outfit, the only thing this baby owns.  I brought home and showed it to G who made me put it down because he was starting to hyperventilate.  I just stared at him and he said that seeing the outfit made it real.  I said, “The seven ultrasounds didn’t make it real?  Hearing the heartbeat every day hasn’t made it real?”  He said no, that it was the outfit that finally did it.  I’m apparently not the only silly one.

13 week ultrasound

I am feeling super relieved right now.  Everything was wonderful at my appointment and the baby’s still measuring perfectly with a good heart rate.  The only disappointment was that the printer attached to the ultrasound machine wasn’t working so I didn’t get a picture.  I should’ve taken a picture of the screen with my camera.

Once again we had the doctor who has a terrible bedside manner and doesn’t let you watch the ultrasound very long before he turns the screen to take measurements.  The baby was facing us, so I didn’t get to see a profile, which is what I was really hoping for.  I want to see that little nose and facial profile, but I suppose we’ll have to wait until my 20-week appointment.  Which, holy crap, is so far away.  It’s going to be super hard to go from weekly appointments to monthly ones.

The doctor also said the baby was moving too much (which I never got to see in my quick glance) to get a good measurement, but it did end up coming out right, so that’s good.  I asked if I could look at the baby again before he was done and he said sure and then showed me the screen for all of 5 seconds.  It wasn’t even enough time for me to try to figure out what way the baby was facing.  He’s a wonderful doctor but is just terrible with people.

I still haven’t told anyone at work about me being pregnant.  Not sure when I will, exactly.  Maybe after my next appointment?  By then I’ll be 17 weeks and I wonder if I’ll be really showing by then.  It’s funny to think of.  I’m still not sure I believe that we’re actually going to get a baby out of this.

Oh, and the progesterone suppositories suck.  I managed to somehow cut myself inside with the applicator and have been bleeding from it.  I’m also getting really sore from jabbing these things up there three times a day.  I mentioned this to the doctor and he said that at this point the suppositories are probably overkill and aren’t really needed but that he would like me to continue them until next Tuesday.  I don’t like any spotting or bleeding at all, it makes me nervous, but at least this I know what this is from.  Now I just really, really hope that it stops when I stop the suppositories.

12 weeks, no ultrasound

I’m skipping an ultrasound this week since I have one on Tuesday next week.  I keep telling myself I can do it, I can wait, but it’s so difficult.  And once my 13-week ultrasound is over, what will I do?  How will I get through the days until my 20-week one?  I’ll definitely have to buy a doppler.

So I called my doctor’s office yesterday to ask about my progesterone levels from my Friday blood draw, and they’re up slightly to 17.  My doctor is having me start progesterone suppositories, 200 mg 3 times a day through week 14.  My progesterone shots are supposed to be done next Monday (only 5 left!  I was so happy about that yesterday before talking to the nurse) but now they might make me continue them.  I’m going to try to convince them not to do that.  I’d rather just stay on the suppositories because apparently the shots aren’t really doing anything, anyway.

Here’s what I’m proposing:
- I want to have my progesterone levels drawn weekly once I start the suppositories
- I want to continue the suppositories until week 16
- When I go off the suppositories, I want my level checked a day or two later to see if it starts dropping again.  If it does, I want to continue the suppositories through the second trimester

I came to this conclusion thanks to Dr. Google and I’m pretty comfortable with it.  We’ll see if my doctor agrees.  There shouldn’t be any reason for him not to agree, but who knows.

The super frustrating part of this for me is that apparently my doctor decided to have me go on the suppositories but then didn’t have anyone call to tell me.  I know this because when I called yesterday, his notes were in my chart but he hasn’t been in the office this week.  So he had to have decided that beforehand but didn’t think it was important enough to have someone call me.  I just don’t get it.  If this office weren’t the only game in town I’d definitely be elsewhere.  And I do like the nurses.  They remember me and if they say they’ll call, they do.  Argh!

I started crying last night while watching American Idol I think just because I was so frustrated by this whole situation.  I wasn’t even thinking about it, I was talking about how I thought Anoop did really well and then I burst into tears.  Poor G was so confused.

We did take a belly shot for 12 weeks, which turned out pretty bad.  I was getting ready for bed when I reminded G that we needed to take it and we just quickly took it.  Oh, well, you can at least see my belly (and my giant boob).  I’ll definitely pay more attention next time to how it turns out so it’s more flattering.

My belly at 12 weeks

11 week ultrasound

So, yeah, I couldn’t wait until the 24th for my next ultrasound.    I called yesterday to make an appointment down in the radiology department and got in today.  And of course, everything was fine.  Radiology always, always does an external abdominal ultrasound first, even when you’re only 6 weeks, which drives me crazy because they can never see anything that early and always have to a vaginal one and then I get charged for both.  But this time I was far enough along that I only had the external one.

I’m getting pretty good at reading ultrasounds.  I should, I mean this was like my 20th one.  But the external ones are hard because nothing looks right.  So I wasn’t even sure I was looking at the baby until she turned on the sound so I could hear the heartbeat, which was 168.

The baby was measuring 11w6d, 4 days ahead, but she did say that my bladder wasn’t full enough so maybe she couldn’t get a good view of what to measure.  Or maybe I’ve just got a big baby.    G. and his brothers were all 9- and 10-pounders, so it is a possibility, I suppose.  I was my mom’s biggest baby at 7 pounds.  Hopefully things go more that way.

So now I’ve got a week and a half until my week 13 ultrasound.  I can’t wait to get to that point.  I’ve held off on getting a doppler because I realized that I most likely wouldn’t be able to hear the heartbeat on it for a few weeks and I don’t think I could deal with the anxiety of not hearing anything.  I thought it was funny, though, when I suggested getting one to G., he was shocked that you could actually buy them.  He thought that they would be $600 or more, which I thought was cute.

And when I sent this ultrasound pic to G. once I got back to work after my appointment, he couldn’t tell where the baby was at all.  It is kind of hard to see, I guess.  I was kind of disappointed it wasn’t clearer but I suppose the vaginal ultrasound for week 13 will have much better detail.

Our baby at 11w2d

10 week ultrasound

I hate how when they first start an ultrasound you see the baby and then it takes a few seconds to see the heartbeat.  I think my heart stops and I don’t breathe during those few seconds.  Then, there’s the heart, beating away!  It’s such a relief to see that.

The doctor I had this week wasn’t as compassionate as last week’s, so I didn’t really get to see the baby move very much.  He aimed the screen at me and I saw the heartbeat and saw the baby wiggle a little and then he turned it away to take his measurements.  The baby was measuring right on this week and his or her little heart was beating away, although he didn’t measure it again.

He did tell me that he didn’t see any point in continuing the weekly ultrasounds because at this point he’s confident that everything will be fine.  In my initial relief I agreed, but now I’m not so sure.  March 24 is a long ways off.  He also recommended I not get an at-home doppler to hear the baby because I might not find it right away and get worried.  We’ll see.  I did some initial searching for places you can rent them from and some of them require a prescription.  I looked at eBay to see about buying one, but a lot of the listings mention that you need to be a certified healthcare provider or they won’t sell to you.  If you’re using one (Meg, I know you have one), where did you get yours from?

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned how my thyroid has been acting up or not, but my TSH, which is supposed to be between 1-1.5, is .02, so they’re having me stop my medication and retest in a month.  I guess pregnancy hormones can cause your thyroid to function more normally than it does when you’re not pregnant.  Which is good, I guess.  One less pill to take!  Plus, I usually take it when I wake up and you can’t eat for a hour afterwards, but I’ve been so hungry when I wake up it’s hard to wait.  Now I won’t have to.

Another problem is my progesterone.  The nurse called this morning and said my progesterone check last Friday showed it being at 12.  Not good at all.  However, my ultrasound this week was fine, and the doctor had my results and didn’t say anything to me about increasing my progesterone dosage or anything, so he must think it’s fine.  He didn’t even mention what the level was to me, which drives me crazy.  Did he think I was better off not knowing?  Probably, because now I think I might call back and tell them I don’t want to stop the weekly ultrasounds after all.  Seriously, though, I was just starting to think how everything might actually work out this time, and now this.  It could still be nothing, but it’s just such a downer.

But since the baby looked great and the doctor said he thinks everything will work out and he’d seen my progesterone level when he said that, I’m trying to take confidence from that.

I don’t know at what point I’ll actually believe that things will work out, though.

Our baby at 10w1d

9 week ultrasound

This week’s ultrasound was neat.  The baby was moving around, waving its little arms.  I said it looked like it was dancing, G. said the baby was waving at us.  It was so cool!  I knew that the baby started moving this week, but for some reason I didn’t think we’d actually get to see it.  I was in the room with their oldest ultrasound machine which couldn’t monitor the baby’s heart rate, but the doctor said it looked around 150-160, which is great.

We’ve never had a successful ultrasound past 8 weeks, so it feels like a kind of milestone.  We’ve at least made it further than ever before.

I’ve still been having lots of morning sickness, which is good.  Thursday I left work an hour early because I was going to be really sick.  I barely made it home in time.  I took a nap and then ate some soup, which came back up later on that night.  Oh, and I’ve found that sometimes B6 works miracles.  My doctor told me to take 25 mg of B6 three times a day if I’m sick and sometimes I can take it when I start to feel really nauseous and it works nearly instantly, but other times it doesn’t seem to do anything.

G. was able to come to my ultrasound this week because it was early in the morning.  He’d been super anxious and said he didn’t feel relieved until later that afternoon once it finally sunk it that we’d seen our baby still looking great and moving around and everything.  Though I think he’s back to anxious again, so we’re just waiting for Wednesday, when he’ll get to come to that one, too.

Another pregnancy symptom that’s been bothering me more lately is my breasts.  They’re super sore, almost bruised feeling.  Oh, and I’m having trouble finding things to drink.  Most water has the most disgusting taste to it.  So far I’ve only found Evian to be the only water that doesn’t have a taste.  And, of course, it’s expensive, so I’m trying to find a cheaper water with no flavor to it but haven’t been successful yet.  I am assuming that that will go away once I’m past the first trimester?

Our baby at 9w2d

8 week ultrasound

At today’s ultrasound, where I am 8w1d, the baby measured exactly 8w1d (as you can see in the pic at the bottom).  That’s the first time that this has ever happened to me.  Hopefully a good sign!

My next appt. is next Thursday and I managed to schedule it for a time that G. can come to, too.  I’m super nervous for that one, because it was at my 9-week u/s that we found out we’d lost the baby last time.  I’m just taking things a week at a time.

My doctor did mention that I can take some B6 to help with the nausea.  My morning sickness has gradually become an all-day thing now.  I wake up feeling slightly sick but it slowly gets worse throughout the day, especially after lunch.  I get home from work and don’t move from the couch the rest of the night.  Those accupressure bands I ordered last week are supposed to be here Friday, so I’m hoping they work.  The weirdest part is feeling like I’m about to be sick and yet starving at the same time.

My shots are still going ok, but I’m having trouble with the progesterone shots in my left hip.  They hurt way more than the right side, and I have no idea why that would be.  Maybe I have more nerves on that side?  Who knows.  I am getting pretty good at giving myself the shots, though.  Not that I like it much, but it is getting easier.

I did get to see and hear the heartbeat, but she didn’t measure it, just saying that it looked great.  And I have heard that lots of morning sickness means a girl, so we’ll see if you’re right when the time comes, Meg! 

Our baby at 8w1d