I know I mentioned about how I am trying, but failing, not to think about getting pregnant. Everything goes fine until my chart says that I’ve ovulated. From then on, it’s so hard not to analyze everything. Those weird cramps a week after ovulation, are those implantation cramps or just gas? Is this weird feeling like the one I had last time I was pregnant? It’s enough to drive me insane. And my husband right along with me.
So I tell myself I AM NOT thinking about it AT ALL. It is not on my mind one single bit. I tell friends who call and ask how everything’s going on the baby front that I am totally relaxed about it, just letting nature take its course. I am such a liar.
One week from today I can take a pregnancy test. The person who invents a test that you can take three days after ovulation will be canonized. This last week leading up the testing is the worst. I tell myself that I’m resigned to the fact that I’m probably not pregnant. I tell myself that I am NOT pregnant, so why get my hopes up just to have them dashed to pieces when only one line shows up? And yet, I can’t help it.
I know women for whom test taking is a religion. They test at 9 days, at 10 days, and so on, gradually increasing to testing twice or even three times on day 13. Have you seen the price of tests lately? They’re like $13 bucks a pop. Blood tests can detect pregnancy at 6-8 days. Why isn’t there an at-home blood test? It can’t be that difficult to make. You will be considered a god if you can invent one of those.
So, we’ll see what news I have next Monday. Hopefully it’s good!
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